Friday, February 4, 2011

The Abductors

Here's a "review" I first ran back in 2008. Warning: This movie review contains shocking female nudity! Imagine watching THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK - and after it's over you realize there's another film called STAR WARS that you didn't even  know about. Well, my friends, this has sadly happened to me. THE ABDUCTORS (1972, directed by Don Schain) is the sequel to GINGER (1971) and the prequel to GIRLS ARE FOR LOVING (1973)! If I only knew this going in, I would have preferred to watch the trilogy in order-but since I didn't, I'll ignore the first one (for now) and tell you all about Episode 2 in the adventures of Ginger Cartwright, secret agent. One part James Bond, two parts Russ Meyer, THE ABDUCTORS is soft-core porn at its best. While there is plenty of nudity (full frontal for every female character and a few of the unnattractive males) and plenty of simulated sex acts - there is actually a semi-coherent plot going on in this movie. Like Jackie Collins, I will italicize all the naughty parts. So here's the story: three cheerleaders are abducted and sold into white slavery. The End. Alright, there's a little more to it than that. First we see a naked beauty-pageant contestant getting tied up and put in a cage - and we know immediately what kind of a movie we are in for. Next, the aforementioned cheerleaders are ambushed by a trio of thugs and forced to strip to their panties while one of the thugs sets their convertible on fire. We notice how odd it is to see topless women with natural, un-altered breasts. A local investigator calls on the ever-braless Ginger to help crack the case of the missing girls. He gives her a stylish briefcase filled with all sorts of gadgets including tracking devices that can be swallowed! After deducing that all the kidnapped women were also featured in the local newspaper, Ginger (Cheri Caffaro, the best actress in the film - which isn't saying much) teams up with a stylish advertising exec (Richard Smedley) who agrees to help her in her investigation. Ginger introduces him to a sexy up-and-coming model named Carter Winston (Jennifer Brooks), who is really going undercover as a potential abductee.
Well, before you know it, Carter is kidnapped and the ad man is screwing Ginger on shang carpeting. After the loving, Ginger is taken hostage herself, while the three cheerleaders are sold to lonely businessmen, and they seem to enjoy it. But it's not over yet - there's a big, daring rescue scene and an "eye for an eye" revenge scene involving Ginger, the ringleader, bar of soap and a hot shower.
Despite some semi-disturbing bondage moments, the film is pretty watchable. With plenty of laugh-out-loud bad dialogue and wooden acting, THE ABDUCTORS does impress with several overlong helicopter and plane sequences as well as a groovy soundtrack (which seems to stop suddenly half-way through the film). Ginger's skimpy outfits and outrageous hairdos are fun, you can totally tell where the producers put most of their money. So if you want to see some silly, poorly-lit and unsexy T & A - THE ABDUCTORS is for you.

1 comment:

Deep Dish said...

Sounds thoroughly delightful--especially the soapy shower scene.